28 November 2008
22 November 2008
2. But ktnz is laik: 'whuteber, d00d'; onlee sits in ur windo, likkin a paw;
3. onlee follos noses, an doan pay attn. Dey is cats, lol.
4. Dey has bin telled, “ No, Bad Kitteh!”
5. but dey doan caer; a loof, dey is it.
6. So doan pay no attn rait bak. Wen cummz zombie day,
iz moar:7. dem raises up outta graves all shambly an moldy
8. an cum ta whar dey is callded, an meow: "Dis is teh suck, srsly."
9. A bunch ago, Noah's d00ds was meen, an growled at ar d00d, an chasded him owta da yard.
10. So he yowled ta his Rewfcat: "Halp! Halp!"
11. an Her maded grayt flood gates of teh sky open an putted bukkits of watr on demz heds,
12. an opened up teh springs of teh urf; an putted watrs on demz paws, tu.
13. But Noah gotted stiks, an tree sap, an bilded a boat, (is hard wif no thumbz, srsly)
14. an boated away, an we wuz: “ZOMG, mah eyes, ai doan bleeve em”, but wuz gud ting, maybe eben moar bettr dan a cheezbrgr, wen evberyting is all watery,
15. an Her letted him go fur boat ried. U see whut Her did thar?
16. U mess wif me, ai kills u in ur sleep!
17. Grayt Buk uv Kat Kaer, we unnrstanz it: So let me show u it.
18. Ktnz uv 'Ad wuz doin it wrong. Bad stuff happnd:
19. Wuz big wind blowin ROAAHHRR, it goed on all day an dint stop,
20. an blowed kittehs an eben pullded owt trees by teh roots.
21. U mess wif me, ai kills u in ur sleep!
22. Grayt Buk uv Kat Kaer, we unnrstanz it: So let me show u it.
23. teh Thamud wuz doin it wrong,
24. an wuz: "U wants us ta follo u? LOL! U has a dum!
25. U fink u has a moar knowage an we is bein wif da stoopid? GTFO! Lies, U tells em."
26. "Purty soon, fibs, we see hoo is tellin em, srsly!
27. We sendz dem a she-camel. Lol. So whut happnz.
28. Water, u can has a share wif camel. Taek turnz lappin it.”
29. But O NOES!. Dey eeted teh camel!
30. Ai kills dem in dere sleep, srsly.
31. We chaseded dem owt ar yard, an dey wented ovar da fence, runnin.
32. Grayt Buk uv Kat Kaer, we unnrstanz it: So let me show u it.
33. teh ppl of Lot wuz beeyin meen,
34. an comed a big ol rain storm wif ouchy ice balls fallin on demz heds; but we savded Lot an his litter, wen sunbeems wuz creepin inta windows.
35. Halp, we has it. Dat's hao we rewardz kittehs, an we bringz a cheezbrgr tu.
36. Lot tellded dem whut wuz comin, an dey jist sitted der likkin demz furs, beeyin aloof cat.
37. Dey was beeyin meen wif naybor kittehs hoo comed to heer, so we putted on dem blindfoldz, an dey wuz sumblin arown losted. Lol, no moar beeyin meen"
38. an aftr dat we tooked off blindfoldz, an eberyboddy eeted cheezbrgrs, an a cookie, an no moar buddy wuz beeyin wif a meen.
39. O Noes if u is doin it wrong.
40. Grayt Buk uv Kat Kaer, we unnrstanz it: So let me show u it.
41. Pharaoh an his d00ds, saem stuffs happnd.
42. Meen, dey wuz it; We no bringed dem a cookie or a cheezbrgr.
43. Ar misbehaverz moar betterer dan oddr kittehs? Lol! We can has immunity; hao ta git shots fer rabies an distempr an alla stuff, Book of Cat Caer tells u it.
44. Them is laik: "We ar a big scary gang of kittehs!"
45. Lol, ur army, we chases it away.
46. Srlsy, on zombie day, u be laik: “ O Noes, we is doin it rong!”
47. U has a crazee, srsly. Heer iz u: “Meooowgooboolababalooleow” ROFL!
48. On zombie day u can has a trubbel; u is in Cat Carrier, lookin owt; u is tooked to Vet, git harblz cutted off, YEOW!
49. Reezons, we has em.
50. We onlee sez “Ai can has stuffs” an stuffs is; fast as closin eyeballz if wun is gittin poked.
51. We has chased away Bad Kittehs laik u b4; Gud, u better be it.
52. Books, eberyting is raited in em;
53. frum itty bitty flee-scratcinz ta grayt big litter-havinz; eberyting's in em.
54. Srsly, ktnz hoo follo Rewfcat an go on trayl Her has peed on, can has cheezbrgr,
55. an bordin pass fer Grayt Anamianibl Shalder.
17 November 2008
heer iz storee:
71. Rewfcat telled teh birdcats: "Iz maekin a kttn, owta stikky mud;
72. wen I has maded her, ai breathes mah cyootness inta her an is up walkin arownd, bein cyoot. Everbuddy cans go “Awww!” So wuz maded furst kitteh.
73. Alla birdcats goed “Awww, Hao Cyoot!”
74. 'Sept for Iblis. He was laik: “Lol! Whut so cyoot bowt dat kitteh?”
75. Rewfcat: "O Noes, Iblis! Hao Can U Say Dat!? U has a jelus cuz her is eben moar snorglier dan u."
76. Iblis: "Iz moar cyoot dan her. U maded me outta fyre, an her outta frum ikky durt."
77. Rewfcat: "GTFO!
78. U is beeyin meen ta kittehs!"
79. Iblis: "O Rewfcat, lemmee hang wif u in cuddel puddel, till cums Last Day, kthnx."
80. Rewfcat: "K. Sum slack, ai cuts u it.
81. U snorgels kittehs till Last Day."
82. Iblis: "If u tells me OK, ai taeks ktnz owtsaid fer ta play in yardz,
83. sept fer wunz u is cuddlin."
84. Rewfcat: "OK wif mee. Ai bringz mah ktnz owt laydr.
85. Yard, we fills it up wif kittehs." Is storee of Iblis an Rewfcat an furst kitteh;
86. Ai tells u it, no aks for cookie or nuffin; an ai no beeyin wif a fib, srsly.
13 November 2008
Heer iz storee; Rewfcat maded hyoominz frum durt or sumfing,
Aftr dat Her had a nap, woek up an had a stretch, an went ta wurk bein Boss of all teh crittrz.
55:15 and created jinns from the white-hot flame of fire.
20:116. When We said to the angels: ''Bow before Adam,'' they all bowed but Iblis, who refused.Hao cum Iblis no has a bow? ROFLMeow! Wen u ever see a kitteh bow fur innybuddy? LOL! Bowin is fur woofers an yapper dawgs. DO NOT WANT!
Pikchur is gotted frum Fiery. Her has a reel good blog; let me show u it, at Atheist Homeschooler.
11 November 2008
Chapdr 77: teh Windz
1. Windz, they is blowin, wun aftr da oddr
2. An sum is nokkin stuffs arownd
3. An sum is goin all differnt drekshuns,
4. An sum is blowin fluffy stuff offa hevvy stuff,
5. An sum is wisperin inta eers
6. sekrets of kittehdom.iz moar:
7. Heers whut's kummin, srsly;
8. Stars can has a dark, an O Noes;
9. hebbinz splits in haff,
10. Hyooj hills turn ta dust an blowz away,
11. An liddl ded ktnz kumz up owta graevz,
12. U know whut day is dat?
13. Day of Judjment, u has it.
14. Hao u knoe bowt Day of Judjment?
15. O Noes if u is doin it rong!
16. Ktnz frum long tiem ago, Blargh, ded, dem is;
17. Wun day alla us goes “Blargh” tu, srsly.
18. All nain laifs, used up is gonna be.
19. O Noes if u is doin it rong!
20. Rewfcat maded u frum stikky white stuff
21. an putted u in a mamacat's tummy, fer
22. havin a comfy, an growin, an
23. Den halped u crawl owt wen liddl shut eyes no can has a see!
24. O Noes if u is doin it rong!
25. Has We not maded da urfs a cavortin place
26. Fur all kittehs,
27. An putted in it cheezbrgrz an a watr bowl?
28. O Noes if u is doin it rong!
29. Run ovah dere
30. to teh shado wif 3 branchez,
31. but hav a keerful cuz is a blazin Fyr.
32. an is poppin owt grayt hyooj sparks.
33. Do Not Want!
34. O Noes if u is doin it rong!
35. Jujment day, ktnz no can has a meow.
36. Rewfcat doan be lissenin 2 no ekcyusez
37. O Noes if u is doin it rong!
38. Day of Reckoning, dat is it. Will be a herd of u an all ghost kittehs
39. So if u has a evil plan, u bettr get wif doin it
40. O Noes if u is doin it rong!
41. Ktnz hoo is domesticatted and folloz Rewfcat, will has a comfy chayr, watr bowl,
42. An all cheezbrgrz u can eet.
43. "Eet an nap wif purrin, as reward fur whut u has did."
44. Rewards, u has it, srsly.
45. O Noes if u is doin it rong!
46. Eet an hav a happy all day.
47. O Noes if u is doin it rong!
48. Wen u tells a kitteh: "Bow in homage," dey ignorz u.
49. O Noes if u is doin it rong!
50. Whut oddr buk dem can has sept fur Grayt Book uf Cat Caer?
09 November 2008
2. An ai wants all u ktnz ta lissen up.
3. u fink we no can put ur boneses all bak togeddr?
4. Lol! We eben can do teh paws, srsly.
5. U is goin all: “WTF? Iz u srs? ROLFlmeow”
6. "Wen all dis spozed ta happn?"
7. Wen u is makin ur eyeballs all sqwinty,
8. an the skai twinkelz is gotted all dark,
9. an da little lait and da big lait in da skai is all squished togeddr,
10. ktnz will be wif yowlin,” Yeowl, lemmee owta heer!"
11. Iz tu bad. U no can has a escape.
12. Not unless u goes an bees wif Rewfcat on dat day.
13. Den u gets told hoo is notty an hoo iz nais, an doan furgit,
14. eberyting u say can an will be yoosed aginst u.
15. Making excuses, dat is doin it rong.
16. (heer ai taks wif Mewhowmad; iz privrat; doan be lissenin in, kthnx.)
Doan be zoomin ovah mah vurses, cuz u will has a forget; Do Not Want.
17. U has gots to remembt alla dis heer stuffs, srsly.
18. So reed along wif me wen Iz tellin u it, kthnz.
19. (nao ai goes bak ta revealin, k? U lissen sum moar. )
20. O Noes, U has a hart fur beeyin alaiv,
21. an “Blargh, ai iz ded.” DO NOT WANT!
22. Gonna be lotsa happy kittehs on da last day
23. all waitin fur Rewfcat,
24. But sum kittehs will hav a sad,
25. an will be skeered.
26. LOL! No hav a skeered, cuz wen ur kitteh-spirit is scamperin owta u,
27. An peeps is goin "Is dere a vet in da howse?"
28. U is gonna knoe it's DA END,
29. An u will be skeered laik a vacuum wuz comin,
30. but Rewfcat will be wif da halp! If u has bin wun uf da notty kittehs,
32. an no has a follo of Rewfcat;
33. an no has bin wif da behavin,
34. ZOMGWTF? O Noes! U no can has cheezbrgr!
35. O noes, no cheezbrgr fer u!
36. Lol. Duz u fink ktnz iz all aloan in da urfs, wif no halp?
37. Wuzzent u maeded by Rewfcat, frum a tomkitteh part,
38. an a mamakitteh part, then Her maded u inta a babykitteh, all cyoot an cuddly,
39. An groed u up inta a boycat or a girlcat.
40. U finks Her no can giv u anoddr laif 8 moar tiems?
06 November 2008
04 November 2008
Look on the sidebar and you will see our nifty new rolling list of these blogs. Click on some of them; you will find some good material. Srsly.
iz no moar for ta: Lift up!
02 November 2008
27. Teh misbehavrz meow: "hao izzit no miracle was sended down 2 him bai his Rewfcat?" LOL! "Leedin ktnz, Rewfcat is doin it rait, an Her gaidz hoo eber cumz 2 Her fer halp.
28. Ktnz hoo behaev can has peese in demz furry widdo harts frum teh cotem... cotimplaysh... contimsplashun... frum tinkin bowt Rewfcat: Srsly finkin bowt Rewfcat maeks ur hart go all fluttry an happee!"
29. Dem hoo behaev an do teh rait stuffs, can has a cookee an a eksellent nappin spot.
30. Dat is hao we has sended u tu da peeps as Return of da Prophet, so u can yowl ta dem whateber we has downloaded ta u. But dey no has a bleevin uv Ar Rewfcat. Tell dem: "Her is mah Rewfcat. Ain't no oddr Rewfcat sept fur Her. Mah trust, Her has it. An Iz goin bak tu Her, srsly."
31. Lulz! If da Grayt Buk uv Kat Kaer wuz big multimedia projek, cud moov mountinz, or claw da urfs inta 2 peeses, or maek zombee kittehs rayz up owta dere graevz an be wif meowin—eben den nobuddee wud bleev Rewfcat. Doan dem sillycats knoes dat if dey lets Her Rewfcat cud leed all kittehdom? As fur misbehavin kittehs, dey no can has cheezbrgr, or a cookie, cuz uv whut baditude dem haz did; an dem hasta lay arownd wif a hungree till Rewfcat cumz ta halp. Srsly Rewfcat duz nawt go bak on Her promis.
32. Befor u wuz prowlin da urf, wuz lotsa oddr kittehs hoo comed, an wuz hissed at an growlded at, but ai chased da Bad Kitteh!s off. Ai opend a can uv whoop-ass on 'em fur dat, srsly!
33. So, heer's teh deel. Her is watchin u, an sees whut u did thar, fur ebery kittn. But dey yowls dat oddr kittehs is watchin tu. So heer is whut u tells dem: "O yah? Hoo iz dat? U gots sum naymz fur me? Or ar u jist motorboatin ur moufs abowt stuffs Rewfcat doan eben know is on da urfs, an maekin dum noise fur no reezun like dawgs duz?” Troof is, teh misbehavrz haz evil plan ta follo, an dey fink dey is sniffin along da rait trayl, but dem is doin it rong. Hooever no can haz a Rewfcat fer showin whar tu go sniffin, dem is losted.
34. Dem no can has a cheezbrgr in da urfs, an no can has a cheezbrgr in da hebbins neever; Nobuddee can has a halp fur dem, sept fur Rewfcat.
35. Teh Grayt Animaminabl Shaldr in da Skai is promisd ta gud kittehs. Its a grayt howze wif comfy cowch fur ebery kittn; wif big yard whar is cleen watr so no drinkin owta toilet, an bushes wif leefs whut neber falls off so is always comfy shayd fer nappin. Heer iz what u goes if u no folloz evil plan; but if u folloz evil plan, u hasta stay owt inna alley an no can has cheezbrgrz, onlee old cat fuds.
36. Ktnz ta hoom we has gaved teh Roolz uv Catitude has a happy; but sum kittehs no downloads all da files. Wen dat happnz, u sez: "Iz authorized ta follo onlee Rewfcat, an no can has support fur oddr programs sept fur Her. Her iz tek support, srsly; Ai callz Her nao."
37. Dat is hao we has sended down teh Grayt Buk uv Kat Kaer, in simpl code ebery programmr unnderstanz. But if u raits ur own program, wen u has gotted da rait filez, u has noboddee ta blaem but ur own dumitude.
38. We sended minny ktnz befor u, an dey fownded grl kittehs, an rubbed harblez an maded itty bitty kitty committeez; but sept fur dat, dey wuz nawt makin mirakelz, cuz onlee Rewfcat can has a majik. Cuz liek in da song, fur ebery tiem dere is a seezun.
39. Rewfcat erases an raits in noo stuff hao eber Her wants, cuz onlee Her has the final script.
40. Mebbee u still be ridin invisible bike on da urfs, or mebbe u is all “Blargh, Iz ded!” befor we rolls the credits, but innyway u has ta delivr teh messaj; teh rekonin, we duz it.
41. Dem shud be laik: OMG, is cummin frum all ovah, Rewfcat; mah howse an yardz, Her is fillin it up, srsly. Her is da onliest wum hoo maeks wif da rekonin, Her is rill gud at it.
42. Srsly dose hoo had wented a long tiem ago, dem had a evil plans tu; but Rewfcat outsmartz dem, cuz her has a knowage of whut ebery kitteh duz. Dem hoo is behavrz will soon larn for hoom is teh Grayt Animaminabl Shaldr in da Skai.
43. Heer is misbehaver kittehs: "Lol! U is not the apostle sended bai Rewfcat." Heer iz u: "Rewfcat is gud fur watchin ovah me an u, cuz backup copeez of teh Book, Her has dem."