the Pronominal System of Lolcats

(Caution: The following post is rated high in nerdliness. Non-geeky people may want to skip it and scroll down. Funny cat pictures there.)

Lolcat has been called a new language, the first language born of the internets. As with any new language, one must study it and record it. One must! Or maybe not, but anyway I recorded all the pronouns in a big sciencey amount of lolspeak from the acknowledged experts at I Can Haz Cheezbrgr, until I had a thousand pronouns*.

iz moar:

Lolcats don't have a standard form like hyoomins, they talk on a continuum with standard English at one end. English speakers always say I, but lolcats tend to say ai—but only 59% of the time. Another 38% of the time they say I, and occasionally even iz**. When to use ai or I is a secret known only to kittehs, but it seems to have something to do with cutitude, an important aspect of kitty pidgin.

Here are all the kitteh's Personal Pronouns:

	First Person
	Subject (English I)		Object (English me)
	lolcat	%	lolcat	%
	ai	59	me	92
	I	38	mi	4
	Iz	1	meh	4
	Second Person English you (subject or object)
	lolcat	%	lolcat	%
	yoo		34
	u		29
	yew		16
	yu		14
	you		6
Third Person
Subject			Object
Engl	lolcat	%	Engl	lolcat	%
he	he	50	him	him	54
	him	8		hims	8
	hee	3		heem	8
she	she	37	her	her	100
	seh	3

And here are their Possessive Pronouns:

1st person singular (English my)			1st person plural (English our)
lolcat		%	lolcat		%
mai		42	our		66
my		25	ar		33
mah		19
2nd person (English you)
lolcat			%
ur			68
yer			11
yur			11
your			7
yore			4
3rd person
singular			plural
Engl	lolcat	%	Engl	lolcat	%
her	her	100	their	dur	66
his	hims	100		their	33

So there you go. More lol-lessons, so when you make your own lols, no one will say Ur Doin it Wrong. Also remember the best font is Impact, white, and Serifs--Do Not Want!
------------------

*About 3/4 of my pronouns were 1^st or 2^nd person personals, so the numbers for the rest will just be unreliable unless someone immune to tedium does this for several million words, or I get a huge fat research grant, Not in cheeseburgers.

**(warning: geekitude!) Interesting, to me anyway, is that this doesn't seem to be a contraction of I is. It is most often generated by combining a legitimate 1^st person form Iz with a copula deletion rule, so that English I am in your X → Iz is in ur x → Iz (e) in ur X → [Iz in ur X].