1. Iz meowing bowt teh Day of gittin a Noo Laif,
2. An ai wants all u ktnz ta lissen up.
3. u fink we no can put ur boneses all bak togeddr?
4. Lol! We eben can do teh paws, srsly.
5. U is goin all: “WTF? Iz u srs? ROLFlmeow”
6. "Wen all dis spozed ta happn?"
7. Wen u is makin ur eyeballs all sqwinty,
8. an the skai twinkelz is gotted all dark,
9. an da little lait and da big lait in da skai is all squished togeddr,
10. ktnz will be wif yowlin,” Yeowl, lemmee owta heer!"
11. Iz tu bad. U no can has a escape.
12. Not unless u goes an bees wif Rewfcat on dat day.
13. Den u gets told hoo is notty an hoo iz nais, an doan furgit,
14. eberyting u say can an will be yoosed aginst u.
15. Making excuses, dat is doin it rong.
16. (heer ai taks wif Mewhowmad; iz privrat; doan be lissenin in, kthnx.)
Doan be zoomin ovah mah vurses, cuz u will has a forget; Do Not Want.
17. U has gots to remembt alla dis heer stuffs, srsly.
18. So reed along wif me wen Iz tellin u it, kthnz.
19. (nao ai goes bak ta revealin, k? U lissen sum moar. )
20. O Noes, U has a hart fur beeyin alaiv,
21. an “Blargh, ai iz ded.” DO NOT WANT!
22. Gonna be lotsa happy kittehs on da last day
23. all waitin fur Rewfcat,
24. But sum kittehs will hav a sad,
25. an will be skeered.
26. LOL! No hav a skeered, cuz wen ur kitteh-spirit is scamperin owta u,
27. An peeps is goin "Is dere a vet in da howse?"
28. U is gonna knoe it's DA END,
29. An u will be skeered laik a vacuum wuz comin,
30. but Rewfcat will be wif da halp! If u has bin wun uf da notty kittehs,
32. an no has a follo of Rewfcat;
33. an no has bin wif da behavin,
34. ZOMGWTF? O Noes! U no can has cheezbrgr!
35. O noes, no cheezbrgr fer u!
36. Lol. Duz u fink ktnz iz all aloan in da urfs, wif no halp?
37. Wuzzent u maeded by Rewfcat, frum a tomkitteh part,
38. an a mamakitteh part, then Her maded u inta a babykitteh, all cyoot an cuddly,
39. An groed u up inta a boycat or a girlcat.
40. U finks Her no can giv u anoddr laif 8 moar tiems?