2. But ktnz is laik: 'whuteber, d00d'; onlee sits in ur windo, likkin a paw;
3. onlee follos noses, an doan pay attn. Dey is cats, lol.
4. Dey has bin telled, “ No, Bad Kitteh!”
5. but dey doan caer; a loof, dey is it.
6. So doan pay no attn rait bak. Wen cummz zombie day,
iz moar:7. dem raises up outta graves all shambly an moldy
8. an cum ta whar dey is callded, an meow: "Dis is teh suck, srsly."
9. A bunch ago, Noah's d00ds was meen, an growled at ar d00d, an chasded him owta da yard.
10. So he yowled ta his Rewfcat: "Halp! Halp!"
11. an Her maded grayt flood gates of teh sky open an putted bukkits of watr on demz heds,
12. an opened up teh springs of teh urf; an putted watrs on demz paws, tu.
13. But Noah gotted stiks, an tree sap, an bilded a boat, (is hard wif no thumbz, srsly)
14. an boated away, an we wuz: “ZOMG, mah eyes, ai doan bleeve em”, but wuz gud ting, maybe eben moar bettr dan a cheezbrgr, wen evberyting is all watery,
15. an Her letted him go fur boat ried. U see whut Her did thar?
16. U mess wif me, ai kills u in ur sleep!
17. Grayt Buk uv Kat Kaer, we unnrstanz it: So let me show u it.
18. Ktnz uv 'Ad wuz doin it wrong. Bad stuff happnd:
19. Wuz big wind blowin ROAAHHRR, it goed on all day an dint stop,
20. an blowed kittehs an eben pullded owt trees by teh roots.
21. U mess wif me, ai kills u in ur sleep!
22. Grayt Buk uv Kat Kaer, we unnrstanz it: So let me show u it.
23. teh Thamud wuz doin it wrong,
24. an wuz: "U wants us ta follo u? LOL! U has a dum!
25. U fink u has a moar knowage an we is bein wif da stoopid? GTFO! Lies, U tells em."
26. "Purty soon, fibs, we see hoo is tellin em, srsly!
27. We sendz dem a she-camel. Lol. So whut happnz.
28. Water, u can has a share wif camel. Taek turnz lappin it.”
29. But O NOES!. Dey eeted teh camel!
30. Ai kills dem in dere sleep, srsly.
31. We chaseded dem owt ar yard, an dey wented ovar da fence, runnin.
32. Grayt Buk uv Kat Kaer, we unnrstanz it: So let me show u it.
33. teh ppl of Lot wuz beeyin meen,
34. an comed a big ol rain storm wif ouchy ice balls fallin on demz heds; but we savded Lot an his litter, wen sunbeems wuz creepin inta windows.
35. Halp, we has it. Dat's hao we rewardz kittehs, an we bringz a cheezbrgr tu.
36. Lot tellded dem whut wuz comin, an dey jist sitted der likkin demz furs, beeyin aloof cat.
37. Dey was beeyin meen wif naybor kittehs hoo comed to heer, so we putted on dem blindfoldz, an dey wuz sumblin arown losted. Lol, no moar beeyin meen"
38. an aftr dat we tooked off blindfoldz, an eberyboddy eeted cheezbrgrs, an a cookie, an no moar buddy wuz beeyin wif a meen.
39. O Noes if u is doin it wrong.
40. Grayt Buk uv Kat Kaer, we unnrstanz it: So let me show u it.
41. Pharaoh an his d00ds, saem stuffs happnd.
42. Meen, dey wuz it; We no bringed dem a cookie or a cheezbrgr.
43. Ar misbehaverz moar betterer dan oddr kittehs? Lol! We can has immunity; hao ta git shots fer rabies an distempr an alla stuff, Book of Cat Caer tells u it.
44. Them is laik: "We ar a big scary gang of kittehs!"
45. Lol, ur army, we chases it away.
46. Srlsy, on zombie day, u be laik: “ O Noes, we is doin it rong!”
47. U has a crazee, srsly. Heer iz u: “Meooowgooboolababalooleow” ROFL!
48. On zombie day u can has a trubbel; u is in Cat Carrier, lookin owt; u is tooked to Vet, git harblz cutted off, YEOW!
49. Reezons, we has em.
50. We onlee sez “Ai can has stuffs” an stuffs is; fast as closin eyeballz if wun is gittin poked.
51. We has chased away Bad Kittehs laik u b4; Gud, u better be it.
52. Books, eberyting is raited in em;
53. frum itty bitty flee-scratcinz ta grayt big litter-havinz; eberyting's in em.
54. Srsly, ktnz hoo follo Rewfcat an go on trayl Her has peed on, can has cheezbrgr,
55. an bordin pass fer Grayt Anamianibl Shalder.