Ch 2:140-160
It'll take nine lives to get to the end of this chapter, but here's some more of it.
Heer, it's talking about the old time prophets. Some people aren't sure who they really were apparently. But we know, don't we?
140. Iz sum kitnz meowin hao Abraham an Ishmael an Isaac an Jacob an demz offspringz wuz strayz r alley kitnz? Meow dis wey: "U tinks u can haz moar knowingz dan Rewfcat?" U iz doin it rong if u acks liek u haz a ignurnts uv whut Rewfcat telled u. Her no haz a ignurnts abowt choo. Lol!
141. Dem wuz da d00dz, and dem haz useded up alla demz nain lifes. Nao dem iz in Grayt Anaminabull Sheldr in da Skai, eetin cheezeburgrz; sum day u do dat tu. Nobuddy be wif askin abowt wut dem haz dunned.
Iz moar under da cowch
142. Dem kittehs hoo haz a ignortnz meows liek dis: "For wai kittehs useded to goes dat way, n nao dem goes dis way fer cheezeburgrz?" Meow: "To Rewfcat blongz teh East an teh West. Her herdz alla kittehs to whair fudz iz."
143. U iz gud kittehs, cuz yu watchez ovah da kitnz, an Mewhowmad watchez ovah u. We telled u which way iz cheezeburgrz; We iz eyeballin wut kittehs follo Mewhowmad an wich wunz runz out da cat door an disappeers. Folloin Rewfcat, demz iz doin it rong. But Rewfcat no lets ur cookies get wasteded, for Rewfcat iz da bomb, srsly.
144. We haz seed u lookin all ovah da place, huntin fer cheezeburgrz. U can haz a gud place fer huntin an prowlin an ketchin mouses. Da Holy Fud Pantry, let me show you it. An kitnz hoo haz Book uv Cat Caer knoes dis iz rait kindz of eetins, Rewfcat telled demz so; an Rewfcat no bees wif da fibbin. Lol.
145. If Buk of Cat Caer telled kitnz whut way tu point demz tayls, u no ca nherd kittehs, demz go in udder direkshunz. An if u goes in direkshun away frum cheezebrgrz, ur doin it rong.
146. Kitnz knoes dat; jist liek demz babee kittehs. But sum uv demz iz hiedin.
147. Da troof, Rewfcat haz it. Srsly.
148. Ebery kitteh goes snoopin rownd differunt stuffs. So trai tu snoop whair iz gud stuffs, betterer dan rest uv kittehs, liek catnips an cheezbrgrz. Rewfcat herds u. Rewfcat iz epic win.
149. Whair eber u cumz frum, go to da howse ov da crazee cat ladee. Akshully, her iz srsly down wif Rewfcat. Rewfcat iz watchin u.
150. Whuteber nayborhud yu cumz frum, go to da howse ov da crazee cat ladee. an whaireber u ar, turn ur whiskrz dat way o dat d00dz no can haz a beef wif u, unless dem haz a meen. But doan bee skeered, Rewfcat is heer an iz givin u halp.
151. Buk uv Cat Caer, we sended a messinjr kitteh tu bring u it. Ar messijez iz to lik ur furs all kleen and download da Buk an da DVD, an giv you a knowage.
152. So doan fergit Rewfcat, an Her no fergits u, an be shur an rub ankels an maek motorboat sounds.
153. O yu house traynd kitnz, hav a brave, cuz Rewfcat haz a happy wen u iz payshunt an doan giv up.
154. Doan be meowin “blargh, ai iz ded” on acownt uv Rewfcat, cuz u no iz killded, cuz kittehs can haz anuffer lief, maybee even seben or 8 uv dem. Lol. Hoo knoes? Lol!.
155. Rewfcat iz awaer uv bad stuffs, uv beeyin skeerd, an grumbly tummies, an tiemz wen u no can haz string toyz fer powncin on, an no can haz a mowse trofee; but kitnz whut haz a payshunts, dem is FTW.
156. Wen u iz chasded by big naybor dawgz, u meow "Srsly we iz wif Rewfcat, an to Her we iz goin bak.
157. On such kittehs ar da puringz uv Rewfcat an Her likkinz, fer dem ar doin it rait.
158. Trooly Safa an Marwa ar da bowndree posts uv Rewfcat's territory. Whuteber kitteh goes on pilgramij to da Haos uv Rewfcat, or on a frenly visit, no iz doin it rong if dem rides invisibl bicycle arwond dem; an kitnz hoo duz gud stuffs jist fer misterious cat reesonz, Rewfcat will unnerstand, cuz Her unnerstanz eberyting.
159. Dem hoo scratches away ar pee frum da posts, an chewz up Buk of Cat Caer, we haz brotted dem, dem, no can haz cheezbrgr frum Rewfcat; an udder kittehs no playz wif dem neever.
160. But wen dem no bees wif da misbehavin, an cumz wif purry cheek rubs, we no haz a mad, cuz Rewfcat haz a happee.
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