More Cow

Here's the next bunch of steak....

41. Ai troz gud stuffs down frum da rewfs. Ai iz watchin yu;
42. no hied stuffs
43. Serve da kittehs; giv cheezeburgerz, nek rubz, kleen litterbox.
44. How yu not noes dis?
45. No iz hard surv kittehs, iz jobz of peeps
46. dat harts kittehs. Iz gud.
47. Doan furgit, wee givz yu cutitude,
48. an snorgels wen taimz iz bad.
49. Doan furgit da Pharoah, he wuz bitin and scratchin, ai saveded yu
50. an putted waterz on all hiz peeps.
51. Moses, he wuz on yur moutin, gittin buks, an yu maeded a gold moocow; wuz no gud,
52. but ai no haz a mad.
53. Moses had buk “Cat Caer Fur Dummeez”
54. an he wuz like, “Peeps! For wai yu maek a moocow? Iz betterest yu maeks a kitteh. Lol! Nao yu runz an hiedz under cowch, srsly.” An yu didz az yu was telled, an rewfcat haz a purr.
55. Yu meowed, “Mai sniffurs doan find no rewfcat heer,” an rewfcat blazeded yu wiff hiz lazer eyes, and yor fur all standed on end so yu wuz big liek haeree tumbelweed an yu wuz all “Blargh! Ai iz died!”
56. Den wee draggeded yu frum under cowch, an sayed 'Lol, Nu Laif!' so yu kud miao 'kthnx', an lick wiff forty-grit tungz;
57. An an we brotted sky-fluffiez, but dey no dropped water, onlee wuz shaed on yu, an wee sended yu kibbels an chiken nugguts so yu can haz eaterage.
58. Doan furgit, wee telled yu “Go out da cat door, and prowl, an be inna town, eatin da stuffs wut haz a flavr.”
59. But sum wuz Bad Kitteh! wuz ful of trubbels like, nok stuffs down, clawz furnitchur, chewz slippurz, poops on bedz. Dey wuz maed of fail an no dooed wut dey wuz telled. So down frum rewf ai sended lazer eyes of retribushun on 'em. Wuz OMG harbul, liek spray wiff fier hoez!
60. Doan furgit sum moar, Moses takeded a stik an banged on rok; wadder sploosheded out awl ovar, an da kittehs wuz all liek, OMGWTF? an wuz dancin wif invisabel pardnurs to keep paws dry, cuz wet fur DO NOT WANT. So yu kittehs, nom nom nom da fudz an lap lap lap da waddah an sproll sproll sproll fer naps an no be maekin trubbelz out in da yardz.


Since I haven't yet got to where I can open this blog up, I'm makin these scratchinz mostly with no feedback. I was kind of proud of v47-8, that's my best one. Verse 41 was tuff: What could be the cat equivalent of believing in what is revealed? “Cover truth with falsehood"? C'mon, they're cats. Halp!
A theological question: from a cat's perspective, what is a book? Something to lay on, for sure, but I could use some ideas on that.