...81. Sum kittehs no haz a house-trainage; ppl seez whut dey did thaer an iz all liek, “OMGWTF ar yu doin? GITTOFFADER, YU STOOPID KAT!” Dem kittehs, no can haz cheezeburger.
82. But housekittehs use litter box, an snorgel on laps makin motorboat soundz; iz gud kittehs, srsly. Can haz gud hoam.
83. Alleykittehs! Doan furgit, us house kittehs lolspeekeded yu, "O hai. Go to heer be wif Rewfcat: rubz da noses, sniffs butts, purr, rubz da ankelz, sproll in sleepee piels, giv lix," but yu no do wut yu was telled.
84. An doan fergit, yu was fightin, an we sayed “ZOMG, No do dat,” an yu wuz like, “OK, we beez gud nao. Udder kittehs; we no chases dem. Srsly”
85. But yu no stoppeded. Udder kitteh iz inna tree, gittin chaseded. Yu sits inna yardz, likkin furz, havin big eyez and innosense, lookin all “WTF? Hoo? Us kittehs? We neber d00d nufin. For wai dat kitteh iz in da tree? How she git dere? We doan be havin a smartness abowt dat.” An yu blink blink blink ur aiz an wriggel ur whiskrz all adoorubbel. Yu iz Lulz!
Book “Cat Caer fer Dummeez”; chapter wun uv it iz all yu haz a smartness uv. Gittin house trayned an beeyin domesticatted, no iz eezy. Iz srs bidness. An Rewfcat noes all da bidnesses. Srsly.
86. Yu no beez domesticatted; hangz in alleez alla tiem, iz gud nao--Yu wayt, sky fluffiez cum, wetness fallz owta sky ON KITNZ, yu be sry, srsly.
87. Doan fergit sum mor: Rewfcat haz a smart, downloaded alla papur-scratchinz onto kitteh naymded Moses. Himz noggin, full of win iz. An Rewfcat sended owt kittehs wif feromoanz, sum wuz naymeded Jesus, uv da litter uv Maree. But yu wuz all Mr meanypants, scratched demz noses and chaseded dem awey.
88. Yu iz meowin: "We doan noe no bedder, lulz." No wai. Yu iz made of fayl.
89. Wen Rewfcat wuz onna rewf, yowlin lolspeek, her wuz liek, “Ai haz a cookie, no be wif eetin it.” Dem cats heered her, but dey wuz like “No wei.” an dey eeted it. Well, Wei, ktnz: Rewfcat iz comin, an her is pisst, srsly!
90. Yu cats wuz havin a think like Rewfcat no iz srs. Tinked wuz OK eeted da cookie an wen wuz allgon, peed inna kitty fud dish. Iz NO GUD. Rewfcat sees wut yu did thair. Her gonna be wif pullin owt ur fur in patchuz.
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